I hate the present me.
The present me makes me like a fool.
A fool that keeps pinning for something that the other someone is unable to give and promise.
Im turning into someone i am afraid of too.
What is happening?

I believe in everyone's impression, im the happy-go-lucky me.
The one who always bring a smile on my face and the one who keeps saying beautiful words.
Yes, i only know how to make words beautiful.
I dont know how to bring the beautiful words into real life.
:(
Kinda saddening.
It really scare me off when i seriously think of what i am becoming.
No, that is not me, NOOO!
I seriously dont want to become like that.
Not becoming someone that gets people irritated, no.

I always thought that if i am able to give in and please him, everything will be fine.
And i am so wrong again, he needs nothing.
He really needs nothing.
I cant stop my mouth, i cant deny myself being afraid of losing him.
And because i do so, i am becoming overly-possesive and sensitive.
I HATE ME!
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!
I want the old me. :'(
I really want to become the past me.

I just want a relationship to be simple and nice.
Comically, along the way we are tgt, i kept paranoiding.
PARANOID IS NEVER IN MY LIFE B4 I MET HIM!
I've lost myself.

I hope i am able to find the old me back.
By hook or by crook, i must cos i really detest the current me.
Am not happy at all when i am so unhappy with myself.
I CANT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY HATE MYSELF.


How can i expect to be with someone when i am so discontented with myself?

Disheartened.

From this min onwards, i am gg to find the past me back.
Happy is rrly important people.

Human's great fear in life is being a weakling. We must all be strong!